Just admit to boyfriend that I am bisexual? Hi, just last week I admit to my boyfriend that I am attracted to girls. We've been together for 4 1/2 years and I love him very much. We have been through a lot together and still have made it this far. I use to be extremely jealous like to the point where I couldn't even handle it myself. Being jealous made it difficult for me to let go of any lies or hurtful things my boyfriend did to me. It would be hard to make it through the day with a smile on my face or without a fight. It got to the point where I could just not deal with it anymore. I wanted to be myself, happy, and free. I didn't want to hurt anymore so I let out all my frustration and just came clean. I wanted to start new and I wanted the jealousy to be gone. it was very hard for me to get it out but I explained to him that I like girls. I also explained that when I watch porn its lesbian porn that turns me on and sometimes when we are having sex and he's going down I think of a girl and I also picture him behind the "fantasy girl" doing her. He turns me on a lot and it really turns me on when I fantasize about a 3 some with him and another girl. I told him that maybe we can look at girls online together also watch videos when we are in the mood. I feel great now that I let my secret out. The jealousy is completely gone, im happy, and I feel like my love for him is stronger than ever. Unfortunately he is having a hard time dealing with this which is understandable since he's only known me one way for 4 1/2 years and all of a sudden everything is different. When we were just friends I've told him things about girls and that id want 2 do this n that with a girl but everything was different when we started dating. We never talked about it and I guess it was a secret I've been keeping till now. I've never kissed or did anything with a girl although I could have. he asked if I wasn't with him if I think id have sex with a girl or relationship and I said probably. He asked if I would want 2 have a 3 some and I said maybe although I think about it now and I think its better off just a fantasy bc most likely it would ruin our relationship. I am attracted to girls I have had crushes but never acted on them for one reason or another. Im also very shy. Anywho....he is having a hard time dealing with this he doesn't understand why I would fantasize about a girl or why I fantasize about a 3some. He said its like picturing him cheating on me and he can't even picture that and that it hurts him to even think about my 3 some fantasy. Im just wondering if anyone has any type of advice for me because right about now im feeling like poop like I should never even have told him bc im stressing him out and making him feel bad. I love him to death and I would never want to cheat on him even with a girl. He is a good guy and he deserves a good girlfriend too. Is it wrong for me to have these fantasies? We tried it the other day he let me look at naked girls and stuff while he was going down on me and it felt really good and made me really wet. But I can tell he doesn't really like it. I told him that I would stop these thoughts if he wanted me to and that I understand if he wants me to stop. It is really bothering him. I don't want to feel like im doing something bad. He told me my innocence is gone and that makes me feel bad bc just bc I like girls does not make me a bad person. I love him more than I ever have and do not want to hurt him. These are just my fantasies and I would never act upon them bc that is like cheating. I thought by telling him wed open up to each other and become closer. I just wanted to be honest bc I could not deal with my issues anymore. I also thought that maybe it would bring more excitement in the bedroom. What are your thoughts on this situation? Is it wrong for me to want to share my fantasies and this experience with him?
First off, please paragraph next time :/ and try not to repeat the same lines...
My ex-girlfriend is (was? I'm not sure) bi and it didn't bother me that much because I was confident in our relationship, but everyone's different and your guy may think differently. One thing to note though: it's usually not nice to know that your partner is fantasising about someone else while you're performing sexual acts with them. Your boyfriend may feel unloved or unwanted when he went down on you in the event you mentioned.
I don't think it's wrong of you to share your thoughts, but don't impose them on him and respect his views.
For now, I think the best thing you could do is reassure him that you still love him very much and give him time to process his thoughts. His view on you has changed and that may still come as a shock to him.